Love is the Reason
by ChiPee21
Summary: Everything has a reason those were the words that kept on hunting me. I just hope that Im not waiting for something that will never come.


**Hello! Okay so this is my first time in writing in first person's perspective, you can consider this fanfic as a trial for that... I thought it was easy but after of minutes of writing I have come to the point of "I don't want to continue this anymore!..." Sigh but I still do my best here so hope you like it**

 **Please bear with the errors you are going to encounter**

 **I do not own love live**

* * *

I will never forget your face when you told me something I wish you never tell..."Ne... Umi chan I have a secret..." I remember looking at your face and saw your serious look begging me to be your listener

"What is it Kotori?..."I ask you despite the hesitation that I am feeling. I knew something was different to you but Ive tried my very best to be the bestfriend you needed right now and not the person who wanted to be your special someone

"Sigh... Umi chan I think Im in love..."hearing those words coming out from you gave me a slight hope that maybe I am the person you are referring to but as I think about it there's no way that you would talk about it with me right?

" really?... with who?..."I tried to hide the disappointment in my voice and I think I somehow made it since your look doesn't change when I ask you that question."is it someone I know..."for some reasons I can't stop myself of wanting to know who is this person. I know the identity of this person will hurt me but I just want to make sure that everything will be fine for you

"Uhm... yes you know her..."her? is it one of our friends? is it Honoka? I was lost in my own thoughts when I heard you say her name..."its... its Eli chan..."knowing you fell for her made my worries vanished inside me because I know if its her... you were in safe hands...

"Really?!... that's great Kotori! you two look good with each other!..."I said enthusiastically in order to hide the pain that I am feeling but somehow why do I see a sad face of yours Kotori? shouldn't you be happy?..."what's the matter Kotori?" I ask and you only give me a weak smile that confirms my suspicion that there is something bothering you...

"Umi chan Im scared..."you called my name, the usual cheerfulness in your voice is gone replaced by the pain you are feeling..."what if Eli chan doesn't feel the same feelings for me? What if she like Nozomi? I... I can't bear that thought Umi chan..."I can't do anything but to looked at you... I don't know what to do too but as I see the tears falling in your eyes I knew I have to do something even though it will break me and the other party...

"Kotori... don't worry you and Eli will be together..."I gave you a warm smile while saying that and seeing your cheerful side again I never regret what I said..."just believe in me okay..."you only nod your head in answer and then hug me tightly whispering some gratitudes in my ears.

* * *

"Ellichi your sweating~..."

"Nozomi not here!..."

Our practice has already ended when I saw you sitting at the corner of the rooftop... I observe your appearance and see the sadness in your eyes while watching Eli and Nozomi flirting with each other again. I made my way beside you but you were so absorb on staring at them that you didn't notice me sitting at your side..."you know you should be smiling right now..."I said beside you and for a moment there you look surprise by my unexpected presence

"Why should I?..."you ask bitterly, tears are beginning to form in the corner of your eyes as you looked at me with so much pain that I never imagine I will see in your face... unable to stand this sight of you I envelop you with my embrace whispering things that will somehow soothe your broken heart...

"Kotori... do you trust me?..."I can't bear this anymore, the thought of you being in pain is tormenting me Kotori it made my heart breaks into pieces seeing you hurting like this, knowing you deserve better than this I have come to a decision that will surely destroy me and some people around us.

"I always do Umi chan..."seeing my words manage to gain your confidence again I know that I have to do this as fast as I can. I looked to the person that will be broken aside from me and prayed that somehow she can find a heart to forgive me someday... I then direct my eyes to the one I love and give her a warm smile

"Then I want you to confess your feelings for her Kotori..."

* * *

Three days after my promise with Kotori I found myself alone in the club room. I tried to focus my mind on reading to calm myself down its very unusual for me to be like this my mind is in disarray and I am so close on backing out with my own plan. Remembering that Kotori is just on the rooftop waiting for Eli I know I have to this according to my plan...

"Umi chan..."

"Umi..."

I looked to the two person who is in front of me I greeted them back as I direct my eyes again to the book I am reading... I can't act immediately nor late. I have to act precisely because my plan's success is depending on the right time. As I was lost in my own thought the other two opposite to me began to flirt with each other again this is the time Ive been waiting for... I close my eyes and sigh deeply which attract Nozomi and Eli's attention..."you two are really close with each other huh..."I said while looking at the two observing any changes in their emotion or expression. Nozomi is just blushing while looking at me shyly on the other hand Eli is blushing too but she is currently in panic

"Umi where d-did you g-get that idea!..."Eli practically yell at me but I didn't mind because this is the time Ive been waiting for I just need to push Eli more and everything is going to be fine...

"Well you can't blame me Eli... you two are really close with each other..."my eyes are only looking at Eli while ignoring Nozomi after all I only needed Eli's participation into this..."just what exactly is the extension of your relationship?..."

"We're just friends..."I can hear some hesitation to Eli's voice... I should have been satisfied with her answer but the confusion in her voice is bothering me... I need to make her believe that she is certain to what she is saying... I need to provoke her more...

"Really... are you sure?..." I ask Eli with a tone as if I really don't believe her... I know that she doesn't like my tone because she is glaring at me right now...

"Absolutely..."Eli firmly said, with her answer I am very contented but I just need one more push then everything will be over...

"So you and Nozomi are absolutely friends only huh..."

"Yes... me and Nozomi are just friends there's nothing more to it..."and that is the final blow I wanted, everything is going according to my plan I just need to proceed to the last one...

"Okay, uhm Eli... Kotori is waiting for you at the rooftop... she needs to talk to you 'alone'..."I emphasized the last words and Eli just looked at me in puzzlement, I am so glad she didn't ask me furthermore because Kotori has been waiting for her for a long time...

"Okay... Nozomi you should go first... it might take time..."hearing Eli calling Nozomi I have come to my senses that she is still here. I watch Eli leaving the room and direct my eyes to Nozomi but what I saw almost made me run after Eli and stop her.

"Umi chan... why?..."Nozomi ask me and there's nothing I can do but to look at her painful expression asking me for explanation.

"Im sorry Nozomi..."I meekly said, she began to made her way out of the room while me, I just watch her back leaving. I really feel horrible I just take advantage to Eli's confusion and drag Nozomi to the same situation as me. But I can't take back what I did and there's no way I would everything I did has a reason, I know taking this path made me someone I don't know a selfish, dreadful and terrible person whatever they would say I don't care I have decided to be the hero for Kotori and be the villain for everyone else that will take her happiness away from her.

I am no longer concern to what I will going to gain or what I am going to lose. I don't mind loosing myself if it is for you. Friendship, my happiness even my future I'll sacrifice them for you. Because if its for you Kotori I would gladly give it all to you.

* * *

Its been weeks since you confess your feelings to Eli and I haven't heard anything from you. I know it is not my business to involved myself in your personal life and during that time you have keep your mouth shut I developed a hobby to observed the people around me especially Nozomi, lately I have been keeping an eye on her than Kotori maybe it's because of the guilt I am feeling inside me anyways I observed the changes between her and Eli, unlike before the two of them seems so distance with each other a wall was build between them and I know that I am the reason for it.

"Ne Umi chan... I have a confession to make..."you told me after our practice as I watch the others making their way out on the rooftop, I notice that you made a meaningful eye contact with Eli and together with your cheerful voice I have come to a conclusion that everything has gone well for you.

"Really?... what is it Kotori?..."I ask even though I already knew the answer, you just keep your smile in place as I looked at you, your confirmation is what all I needed.

"Eli chan and I are together!... and it's all thanks to you Umi chan!..."that's right your confirmation is all what I needed to remind myself that you will never be mine

"I am happy for you Kotori..."I gave you a warm smile despite the pain that I am feeling just seeing you being yourself is enough for me to accept the painful reality lying in front of me..."you shouldn't made her wait Kotori..."I told her, it is not for her sake but mine I just need to released this feelings right now

"Okay... see you tomorrow Umi chan!..."I just nod my head in answer, I watch you leaving me all by myself after a couple of minutes I finally felt the tears that Ive been holding to myself. After I finally calm myself down and made my way out of the place when I suddenly encounter the person I had hurt too...

"Are you okay with it Umi chan?..."Nozomi ask me, she clearly saw through my scheme and it made me worried for a moment there..."with everything that you've been doing... you will definitely loose her..."she point out I can't help but to think that she is doing this for her own sake, that she might be thinking that she can convince me to help her to break the other two and I can't let that happen, I will remove every obstacle to Kotori's happiness even if it is Nozomi...

"I don't care about myself Nozomi..."for a moment there I saw Nozomi's hurtful expression, maybe I really am a horrible person for not regretting the things I have done before... I feel sorry for Nozomi but like I said Kotori's happiness is my top priority..."Im sorry..."I tried to apologize to her for my own selfishness even though I knew she won't forgive me.

"It's fine Umi chan... everything has a reason..."It was the most unexpected words I heard from her, I can no longer contain my emotions I suddenly hug her while tears began to fall in my eyes. I never feel so defeated like this in my entire life, how can I hurt someone as kind as Nozomi.

"I-Im really sorry Nozomi..."

* * *

Month has passed and the third years had graduated already. I suddenly found myself on the airport together with my friends except for Nozomi and truthfully I understand her reasons for not being here.

"Goodbye Kotori..."I heard Eli said that to you while she hold you on her warm embrace you only nod your head in answer without tears in your eyes..."farewell my friends..."she then said her goodbye to us but I can see that her eyes are searching for something or rather for someone I knew she is searching for Nozomi. Eli already had gone to her plane the others are gone too except for me and Kotori...

"Kotori is it okay for her to leave?..."I ask you because I knew that you will be sad again if she's not around..."you know it will take a long time for you to see each other..."concern must be evident to my voice but you only look at me with a smile. I feel confused to your behavior but I still kept my mouth shut...

"Oh... Ill see her again in a minute..."now Im really confuse by your behavior... my eyes widen when you show your hand with a plane ticket to Russia..."everyone knew about this except well Eli... I am planning to surprise her..."I can't help but to agree with you there, I bet she will be. You know what Kotori I am surprise too mix with the pain by the fact that I will not going to see you around for a long time or maybe never..."and you..." you sheepishly add while blushing I never thought I would see you like that in front of me...

"Me?..."I literally point at myself like an idiot..."why?..."

"Well it's because I owe you my happiness Umi chan... if it wasn't for you there's no Eli and I, you served as our bridge to find each other..."I can see that genuine smile of yours while saying that it was nothing but a pure happiness..."and because of that I want to say my farewell to you in a special way... consider this as my gratitude for everything you have done for me..."I am so shock by your words that I didn't notice the narrow space between us..."thank you Umi chan..."you said before you gave me a kiss on the cheek and wrapped me in a warm embrace..."take care..."

"Uhm... goodbye Kotori..."I watch your back leaving me behind, I stood there until you are out of my sight my mind is at peace I no longer feel lonely or sad just the thought of you being happy with Eli is enough to make me happy..."may you leave happily forever Kotori..."

* * *

Its been seven years since that time... seven years of changes and seven years without you by my side. I tried to look for someone but those seven years is not enough to get you out of my mind...'everything has a reason' those words of Nozomi kept on hunting me, I just hope I didn't waste my time on waiting for something that would never come...

"Sigh... this person is 5 minutes late..."I groan in frustration I really don't like people making me wait except her, she is the only exception for me in everything. Like I said Ive been trying to find someone and blind dating is the best solution I could ever think of... anyway I am currently on a date right now but the exciting part in this blind date thing is that you don't know who you're date is, all I know is that she is from abroad and currently in vacation... that is how I find myself here at a fancy restaurant...

"Excuse me?..."I heard someone said that from my side, Im really glad she finally arrived because I am so close on leaving this place... I direct my sight to her but what I saw take my breath away... you can say that I saw a goddess in front of me, her ash gray hair is longer than before but the bird style thing is still there... she looked taller than before and the aura surrounding her is no longer appropriate for a girl for it belongs to a woman..."Umi chan you look pale~…"she playfully called my name even her tone had change innocence is not present there...

"did I really made a huge impact to you? By the way Im your date Umi chan~" my date? Did she just said she is my date!

"Kotori?..." she just laugh at my reaction I bet I really looked funny right now..."Kotori is that really you?..."I can't believe it she really is here. I am to shock to see her again that my eyes widen and my mouth is hanging open...

"You haven't change Umi chan you're still cute~" she made her way beside me and lean... I thought for a moment there she will going to kiss me..."I can see that you haven't learn to keep your mouth close when you're surprise Umi chan..."she cup my chin and close my mouth oh god this is so embarrassing. She made her way opposite to me and called the waiter for order... I keep on staring at her and observed her, there's so much changes in her even the way she dressed has change it is bolder than before... if I am still in my high school self I would probably say it is 'shameless' but now all I can say is 'it is beautiful...'

"What are you looking at Umi chan do you find me beautiful..."yup she is bolder than before... while me, I am still a mess everytime she teases me, now I feel ashamed for myself..."by the way Umi chan how are you?...do you have work or new hobbies"

"Me... well still the same archery, poetry and you know taking over our dojo... oh! I am also in modeling on Nozomi's studio..."

"Modeling in Nozomi's studio... just how did she convinced you Umi chan? Don't you find it shameless?..." why do I feel you are irritated right now Kotori is it just my imagination? Anyways I can't tell her that I am paying Nozomi for what I did to her long time ago..."are you two dating?!..."I was shock when you slam both of your hands on the table Kotori..."are you?!..."

"Absolutely not!..."

"Really?..."

"Yes..."I keep nodding my head to calm Kotori down it seems she believes what I said..."how about you and Eli... how are you?"god why did I brought it up...

"We broke up..."you said casually, I just look at you in disbelief searching for any changes in your expression, your face is telling me that you no longer care about Eli nor your past with her. My eyes are only staring at you asking for explanation..."things didn't work well for us..."really? are all my efforts has gone to waste?..."are you in a relationship with someone Umi chan?..."

"Nope..."

"Oh then, Uhm... Umi chan..."you called my name with hesitation, I can't help but to have a bad feelings about this I really feel nostalgic with this situation..."I have a confession to make!..."you blurted out, you must be really nervous right now because your coolness is gone..."Im in love!..."I just close my eyes waiting for your next words, I have accepted long ago my destiny to be your aid everytime you're in love there's nothing new to it..."Im in love to you Umi chan!.."

"What?..."did I really heard her right? I looked at her expression to see if this is one of her teasing. Should I be happy?... no I can't, I don't want to assume anything..."Kotori stop teasing me like that!..."

"Sigh... you really haven't change Umi chan..."Kotori said while making her way to sit beside me she then looked at me affectionately while cupping my cheeks..."those years without Umi chan made me realize my true feelings..."

"Kotor- uhm!..."I was about to protest when Kotori kiss me instantly... I feel so shock that my world has stop from spinning. This kiss is foreign for me I haven't felt this kind of feeling in my entire life and I can't help myself to look for more...

"You haven't change Umi chan... you're still dense and talks to much... but that is what I miss and like about you..."Kotori began to run her fingers all over my body. I can't bring myself to stop her from what she is doing, her touch felt so good and I really want to feel her lips on mine again. Seeing that I kept on staring on her lips Kotori leans once again to give me what I wanted...

"Ehem! excuse me but..."a voice interrupted or rather ruin our moment. Kotori glare at the new comer as if asking 'what the hell'... the newly arrived person perceived Kotori's gaze and speaked once again..."I hate to ruin your moment but could you take it outside..."reality hit me I forgot that we are in a restaurant and people are staring at our place...

"O-Okay!..."I hastily drag Kotori outside, I can't stand people staring at us... on the other hand Kotori is just laughing at me it looks like she is enjoying the situation we are in..."shameless!..."I blurted out after we made it outside

"What a show off Umi chan!..."you said while still keeping that humorous laugh of yours..."we just give them a free show, didn't we..."

"Kotori... that's not funny!.. it was shameless!..."

"Yeah... yeah, so Umi chan do you..."Kotori is fidgeting on her place and her face is blushing... she looks trouble and contemplating if she is going to speak again. Im starting to wonder if she is okay..."do you love me?..."I was surprised by her sudden words but nevertheless I already knew the answer to her question for a long time...

"I used to..."I said and it looks like the world has ended for Kotori, tears began to fall in her eyes. I smile by this sight of hers even if she is crying she is still beautiful but I think I prefer the genuine smile of hers. I put my hand on her cheeks as I give her a warm smile..."and I still do love you Kotori..."

"Mou!... Umi chan!..."she said as she envelop me on a tight and warm embrace..."I love you Umi chan..."

"I love you too Kotori..."

* * *

 **So how is it? I am actually thinking if I ahould write a continuation of this in Nozomi's perspective whenever I have time and I would be glad if you can give me some tips on writing in this kind of style like I said this is my first time in writing first person POV**

 **Bye...**


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